Wednesday, January 11, 2017

2017 - A Welcome and a Wish

Welcome to a new year! Wow, I can honestly say I am so glad for 2016 to be over. On a the world stage, last year was filled with triumphs, setbacks and disappointments. Here in the USA, politics dominated and their unrelenting presence left many burdened and weary. Although the plight of the world is important as we are all in this together, 2016 left me withdrawn. On a personal level, the first half started out so well, but the last half was a true cluster. I'm going to start this off with sadness, the wheel turns and we experience the great heights and lows of this life. I'm in a low, but I have great hopes for fortune to swing upwards again.
I had to take some time off from life last year, well not from life but from the life-at-large. Our beautiful hound dog Indy became ill, and it went from bad to worse. In September, she suffered from a seizure, the vets diagnosed her with epilepsy, but her health steadily declined. Despite medications, diet changes, supplements and all the love we could give, she was tired. In her final days, we openly admitted to ourselves (even if it was in the back of our minds) that she had something far serious. After a sudden change in behavior and devastating symptoms, the vet confirmed our dread of some sort of brain lesion. 

With broken hearts and souls, we chose to say goodbye to our beautiful girl. I truly believe she was within days of suffering a probably life-ending medical crisis, and although saying goodbye was one of the hardest things we've ever done, we chose to let her go in peace 2 months after her initial seizure. 
There is an emptiness in our home, in our daily lives and in our souls that this loss created. As I type this, I need tissues and find the sorrow well up. My promise to myself for the new year, adjusting to the grief, is to embrace the loss but to not live in it. I let the emotions ride out, but I do not dwell in their house. I do this because our loved ones, in their passing, do not wish us to reside in that dark place for long. 

I welcome this new year, not as a fresh slate, but as an opportunity for contemplation and growth. Although 2016 destroyed me, it has lessons to teach and I want to be an eager student. Why the hell go through all of that pain, heartache and sorrow, and not learn something from it? That is a foolish thing, to set the invaluable truths aside. 

I have a wish for you for the new year. I wish for you to be true to you. To find yourself, you identity, and to explore who that person is and your potential. I wish for you to have strength, to persevere, as it is not always easy to find ourselves. Sometimes we have to face things that are hard, that we don't like, that we are ashamed of. Have the strength, you are strong and you can do this.

May 2017 be your year, as it only comes once.
Until next time,

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